Dear Friends,
Today a friend of mine forwarded one of "those" emails…you know the ones, with something cute or witty on it with an additional instruction to pass it on to everyone you know so you'll be blessed in some fashion or another. I hate those emails, but this one was definitely an exception. This one made me stop and think about each little sentence and I wanted to share some personal reflections. This is also an opportunity for me to share some information about my personal life that I haven't, till now, felt the need to tell. This is the email I received:
"Life is short. Forgive quickly. Kiss slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably. And never regret anything that makes you smile."
I wanted to expound on each one of those sentences as the simplicity of this message hit me profoundly.
"Life is short." A few weeks ago, a woman that I didn't even know with the same name as me, died in an accident. A dear friend of mine knew this woman and her family and was grief struck over Lee Anne's passing. Her bike was hit by a van and she later died at the hospital. She was only 43 years old, full of life, dreams, had a good marriage, a child and lived in place she considered her own personal paradise. She lived her life from an intense position of gratitude; thankful for all God had given her, never doubting that she was His child and that He adored her! What an amazing woman. Here is an article about Lee Anne if you would like to know a little more: http://www.charlotte.com/112/story/330074.html
Life is short indeed.
"Forgive quickly." Ah…this is the hard one. Forgiveness needs to be equated somewhat with forgetting. If we forgive but hold a silent grudge, never again allowing vulnerability or softening of our hearts toward the one who hurt us, we merely give lip service to forgiveness. We don't truly forgive, but instead, give ourselves victim status and permission for more pain in our lives. There is a difference between blindly forgiving and forgetting and the process of forgiving, forgetting and eventually letting go.
For most hurtful things in life, we need to forgive, forget and start loving again, right away. We cannot afford to harbor resentment and anger over hurtful words and attitudes. We owe it to ourselves and our loved ones to gently tell them what's bothering us (using the words "I feel.." and not "you always…"), why it bothers us and ask for help coming up with a resolution to the problem or issue. If you think about it, most things in life only require that much attention and time. The bigger things of course, require a more deliberate approach to forgiveness, allowing room to process—two steps forward, one step back and a whole lot of grace and love heaped on top to keep this process alive.
For the most unforgivable things in life and where it is impossible to go through this process with the other person, it is important to do this for yourself, with God's help. Forgiveness heals broken hearts and wounded souls like nothing else. The act of granting forgiveness and the blessing of being forgiven is what makes us divinely human. It is both an act of humility and grace and it is what gives room for love to flourish and to grow.
"Kiss slowly." My favorite one! And this is the place where I need to tell you about my personal life. Believe it or not, it was two years ago that I married Dan thinking I had finally found the love of my life—I shared my joy with y'all and showed him off at FlyFests and book signings in 2006. Over seven months ago, the whole façade came crashing down and the annulment was final the beginning of June. You don't need the gory details to know that it wasn't pretty and I was devastated.
So why am I saying that "kiss slowly" is my favorite reminder after enduring what I did? Because the past hurt has made me understand just how precious and wonderful the love between a man and woman can be. Being kissed, truly kissed is a beautiful expression of such a gift! I remember a scene in the movie That Thing You Do when the drummer asks
the girl who was dumped by the pompous lead singer, "When was the last time you were kissed, really and truly kissed?" That's close enough to the quote, but her answer had nothing to do with the guy she was with. Instead, she had to pull from the archives of her mind and think back and pull up an older memory. The drummer then kisses the girl, they fall in love, get married and live happily ever after. At least, that's how it was in the movie.
In real life, it starts the same way—with a kiss. Unfortunately, there are many of us who don't know we're kissing toads that will never become princes—they are perma-toads, LOL. But for some blessed women, they have kissed their princes and their stories are as sweet and wonderful as the stuff in movies. I remember on the FLY Show a few weeks ago, a lovely lady called in and asked for help getting her dining room table de-cluttered. She talked about her wonderful husband of over 30 years and her children and grandchildren. Inside, I had a twinge of jealousy thinking how much I wished my legacy looked like hers. But I can't be her and she can't be me. We've just been blessed differently is all! I did learn something from what I've gone through though. The way to find your prince is to not just kiss slowly; commit slowly, too!
"Love truly." I am a firm believer in boundaries. Every state in this great country has a boundary. Likewise, each nation on the planet has boundaries. Boundaries are there so you know where you stand, figuratively and literally. We all must have physical boundaries in our lives as well as emotional and life boundaries. This is what keeps us healthy and gives us in return, healthier relationships. But when it comes to "loving truly", this is one area where there are no boundaries. I've noticed that with my children—I remember looking down at my infant daughter in her bassinette and thinking I could not love her any more than I do, but I found out almost 18 years later, yes, I do love her more than I ever dreamt possible. Same with my son…loving your children is a love than knows no bounds. To love truly, is to slip the boundaries of what you think and allow your heart to expand as you love more and more. There is no easy way to explain it…this is one of those things that must be lived.
"Laugh uncontrollably." Well, this is an easy one for me! Anyone who knows me knows I love to laugh and yuck it up with my friends and family. There is a Bible verse that says, "A merry heart is good medicine." I believe that with all my heart. In my opinion, being able to laugh at the world around you, enjoy a good belly laugh and laugh so hard you cry is an essential life skill. It also doesn't hurt to be able to laugh at yourself. There are times when you might be the only one laughing, but at least you're laughing, right?
And laughter literally is good medicine. Studies have shown that people who laugh often have a stronger immune system, so much so, that some oncologists have even prescribed Marx Brothers' movies to their patients! That's how powerful laughter can be. I believe that the ability to laugh and smile is born out of a sincere appreciation for ones own life and a heart filled with gratitude. It's easy to smile when you're thankful and can readily count your blessings!
You simply cannot survive this cruel world without a sense of humor in your holster and big smile ready to spread on your face. When you smile, the world smiles with you and even the hard stuff is a little easier. If you grimace more than you smile, make some smiley face post it notes and post them around your house to remind you, SMILE!
"And never regret anything that makes you smile." Truth be told, I've done dumb stuff that in the end, made me look foolish. But I did it with a smile on my face and an attitude that said, "oh well!" and it worked out fine. I have no regrets; I have fond memories and happy thoughts of those experiences. I've discovered that it's not all about me…there is a bigger picture to consider and that's what I choose to look at.
I am a blessed woman. My life is full and wonderful. I have a mission that I am fulfilling everyday, two wonderful children and even a new man in my life (yes, he's a good one). I am profoundly thankful for all I have and wake up every morning with a heart filled with gratitude.
I invite you to ponder this quote and reflect on the wisdom of each sentence. Look for the application for your own lives and reach for the fullness that is there for the asking. It doesn't take money to have a full life; it takes a gracious attitude and an expectation that life will be good. It's up to you to find it.
Love,
Leanne--the Dinner Diva
Today a friend of mine forwarded one of "those" emails…you know the ones, with something cute or witty on it with an additional instruction to pass it on to everyone you know so you'll be blessed in some fashion or another. I hate those emails, but this one was definitely an exception. This one made me stop and think about each little sentence and I wanted to share some personal reflections. This is also an opportunity for me to share some information about my personal life that I haven't, till now, felt the need to tell. This is the email I received:
"Life is short. Forgive quickly. Kiss slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably. And never regret anything that makes you smile."
I wanted to expound on each one of those sentences as the simplicity of this message hit me profoundly.
"Life is short." A few weeks ago, a woman that I didn't even know with the same name as me, died in an accident. A dear friend of mine knew this woman and her family and was grief struck over Lee Anne's passing. Her bike was hit by a van and she later died at the hospital. She was only 43 years old, full of life, dreams, had a good marriage, a child and lived in place she considered her own personal paradise. She lived her life from an intense position of gratitude; thankful for all God had given her, never doubting that she was His child and that He adored her! What an amazing woman. Here is an article about Lee Anne if you would like to know a little more: http://www.charlott
Life is short indeed.
"Forgive quickly." Ah…this is the hard one. Forgiveness needs to be equated somewhat with forgetting. If we forgive but hold a silent grudge, never again allowing vulnerability or softening of our hearts toward the one who hurt us, we merely give lip service to forgiveness. We don't truly forgive, but instead, give ourselves victim status and permission for more pain in our lives. There is a difference between blindly forgiving and forgetting and the process of forgiving, forgetting and eventually letting go.
For most hurtful things in life, we need to forgive, forget and start loving again, right away. We cannot afford to harbor resentment and anger over hurtful words and attitudes. We owe it to ourselves and our loved ones to gently tell them what's bothering us (using the words "I feel.." and not "you always…"), why it bothers us and ask for help coming up with a resolution to the problem or issue. If you think about it, most things in life only require that much attention and time. The bigger things of course, require a more deliberate approach to forgiveness, allowing room to process—two steps forward, one step back and a whole lot of grace and love heaped on top to keep this process alive.
For the most unforgivable things in life and where it is impossible to go through this process with the other person, it is important to do this for yourself, with God's help. Forgiveness heals broken hearts and wounded souls like nothing else. The act of granting forgiveness and the blessing of being forgiven is what makes us divinely human. It is both an act of humility and grace and it is what gives room for love to flourish and to grow.
"Kiss slowly." My favorite one! And this is the place where I need to tell you about my personal life. Believe it or not, it was two years ago that I married Dan thinking I had finally found the love of my life—I shared my joy with y'all and showed him off at FlyFests and book signings in 2006. Over seven months ago, the whole façade came crashing down and the annulment was final the beginning of June. You don't need the gory details to know that it wasn't pretty and I was devastated.
So why am I saying that "kiss slowly" is my favorite reminder after enduring what I did? Because the past hurt has made me understand just how precious and wonderful the love between a man and woman can be. Being kissed, truly kissed is a beautiful expression of such a gift! I remember a scene in the movie That Thing You Do when the drummer asks
the girl who was dumped by the pompous lead singer, "When was the last time you were kissed, really and truly kissed?" That's close enough to the quote, but her answer had nothing to do with the guy she was with. Instead, she had to pull from the archives of her mind and think back and pull up an older memory. The drummer then kisses the girl, they fall in love, get married and live happily ever after. At least, that's how it was in the movie.
In real life, it starts the same way—with a kiss. Unfortunately, there are many of us who don't know we're kissing toads that will never become princes—they are perma-toads, LOL. But for some blessed women, they have kissed their princes and their stories are as sweet and wonderful as the stuff in movies. I remember on the FLY Show a few weeks ago, a lovely lady called in and asked for help getting her dining room table de-cluttered. She talked about her wonderful husband of over 30 years and her children and grandchildren. Inside, I had a twinge of jealousy thinking how much I wished my legacy looked like hers. But I can't be her and she can't be me. We've just been blessed differently is all! I did learn something from what I've gone through though. The way to find your prince is to not just kiss slowly; commit slowly, too!
"Love truly." I am a firm believer in boundaries. Every state in this great country has a boundary. Likewise, each nation on the planet has boundaries. Boundaries are there so you know where you stand, figuratively and literally. We all must have physical boundaries in our lives as well as emotional and life boundaries. This is what keeps us healthy and gives us in return, healthier relationships. But when it comes to "loving truly", this is one area where there are no boundaries. I've noticed that with my children—I remember looking down at my infant daughter in her bassinette and thinking I could not love her any more than I do, but I found out almost 18 years later, yes, I do love her more than I ever dreamt possible. Same with my son…loving your children is a love than knows no bounds. To love truly, is to slip the boundaries of what you think and allow your heart to expand as you love more and more. There is no easy way to explain it…this is one of those things that must be lived.
"Laugh uncontrollably.
And laughter literally is good medicine. Studies have shown that people who laugh often have a stronger immune system, so much so, that some oncologists have even prescribed Marx Brothers' movies to their patients! That's how powerful laughter can be. I believe that the ability to laugh and smile is born out of a sincere appreciation for ones own life and a heart filled with gratitude. It's easy to smile when you're thankful and can readily count your blessings!
You simply cannot survive this cruel world without a sense of humor in your holster and big smile ready to spread on your face. When you smile, the world smiles with you and even the hard stuff is a little easier. If you grimace more than you smile, make some smiley face post it notes and post them around your house to remind you, SMILE!
"And never regret anything that makes you smile." Truth be told, I've done dumb stuff that in the end, made me look foolish. But I did it with a smile on my face and an attitude that said, "oh well!" and it worked out fine. I have no regrets; I have fond memories and happy thoughts of those experiences. I've discovered that it's not all about me…there is a bigger picture to consider and that's what I choose to look at.
I am a blessed woman. My life is full and wonderful. I have a mission that I am fulfilling everyday, two wonderful children and even a new man in my life (yes, he's a good one). I am profoundly thankful for all I have and wake up every morning with a heart filled with gratitude.
I invite you to ponder this quote and reflect on the wisdom of each sentence. Look for the application for your own lives and reach for the fullness that is there for the asking. It doesn't take money to have a full life; it takes a gracious attitude and an expectation that life will be good. It's up to you to find it.
Love,
Leanne--the Dinner Diva
.
__,_._,___
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